~ Emails from Mr. Lee, Hong Kong exporter ~

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celebrate good health

From: Leej**** @***tradecompany.hk
To: lucas****@****.es
Sent: Wednesday, October 13, 2010.
Subject: cousin Sun, excuse / breathing machine / new doctor

Dear Mr. Lucas Varela:

Hello to you.
I am all apologies because I not send email this week. My excuses: very busy visiting cousin Sun, in coma in Hospital, similar to vegetable. 

Poor cousin Sun. He is in bed, eyes to roof, open mouth, saliva in cheeks, very sad. I talk to doctor:
Doctor say: «You are family of this patient?»
And I say: «I am cousin and probably best friend»
And doctor say: «You are mafia too?»
And I say: «I am exporter, very legal work»
And doctor say: «Ok, I have bad news for you. Please do not revenge me with mafia torture»
I say: «I promise. Please doctor, we are very legal people, do not insult honor»
And doctor say this words, very sad words, and now I cry while I write this email:
«Mr. Lee, very bad news. Your cousin Sun has not brain work, it is like potus plant, no brain. He has cable to machine, and machine breath for him. But breathing machine is very expensive and we have other vegetable patients, you understand, so we have to...»
I cry and say to doctor: «We have to let go? Extract machine of cousin Sun?»
Doctor say yes with head, and put his hand in my shoulder. I cry.

I call Uncle Lang after I speak with doctor, and I say: «Hello dear uncle, doctor say we stop breathing machine of cousin Sun» and my uncle, mafia boss, say: «I will talk to doctor, very thanks to you, Lee»

So cousin Sun still with Breathing Machine, because doctor has accident. Car explosion when he turn it on, very sad. Now doctor is similar to vegetable LOL and with cable to breathing machine. LOL, LOL, irony!!
New doctor is friend of Uncle Lang (great coincidence!) so no problem with machine!

On regards of the shipment you await: great delay. I have no excuse, sorry. But you can think of cousin Sun, vegetable, and celebrate good health! LOL like Kool and the Gang song: “celebrate good health, c’mon!”.

Best Regards,

Lee J***

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If you enter house in China and you do not say hello and then you go out of house and do not say good bye, that is mean GREAT OFFENSE to owner of house, and maybe then owner of house go and kill you to compensate honor. It is similar when you visit blog and do not say hello. So please leave comment, or if you do not leave comment because you are shy person or not very smart person, then click facebook like button or tweet button, even monkey can click button! If you go out of blog and do not say hello, I find IP address of you and kill you with slow dead to compensate honor, Ok? I very much hope it is all clear now so we avoid mistakes later.

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