From: Leej**** @***tradecompany.hk
To: lucas****@****.es
Sent: Monday, May 09, 2011.
Subject: New open of company / Liu and prison partner / new contract of friend / slippery hand soap accident!
Dear Mr. Varela,
LOL!
‘LOL’ it is mean ‘laugh out loud’, this it is mean you liberate laugh with big volume, big volumen laugh of happiness. So I start email with LOL of happiness.
Why happiness, you ask? Because we open company again, we are back in game, making real Terminator famous phrase.
Remember Liu in jail? Because little problem with ‘russian products’ (soft innocent teens)? Well, very good news! He make tunnel with fork (plastic fork in prison, so you do not use to kill guards!) and escape! Liu, very patience man, that is great virtue, 2 months making tunnel with plastic fork.
Now Liu under table, hidden under table of office because he afraid of police that find him and return him to prison and he is afraid others prisoners make sweet sweet love to him again, like one day in prison showers, Liu say to me, he is in shower and he is all wet because water of shower, and soap is in hand of Liu and then soap fall down of hand because hand it is wet, hand is very slippery, so soap fall from hand, and then he is down to recover soap from shower floor and when he is down, ass of Liu it is up and it is sexual offer to prisoner next to Liu, poor prisoner with long abstinence of sex, so prisoner next to Liu see ass all up and wet and sexy and he get sexual excitation and cannot control so prisoner make sweet sweet love to Liu, and after that incident, Liu never shower again, many days without shower, very dirty, but also many days without sweet love making to him. LOL.
Remember Liu in jail? Because little problem with ‘russian products’ (soft innocent teens)? Well, very good news! He make tunnel with fork (plastic fork in prison, so you do not use to kill guards!) and escape! Liu, very patience man, that is great virtue, 2 months making tunnel with plastic fork.
Now Liu under table, hidden under table of office because he afraid of police that find him and return him to prison and he is afraid others prisoners make sweet sweet love to him again, like one day in prison showers, Liu say to me, he is in shower and he is all wet because water of shower, and soap is in hand of Liu and then soap fall down of hand because hand it is wet, hand is very slippery, so soap fall from hand, and then he is down to recover soap from shower floor and when he is down, ass of Liu it is up and it is sexual offer to prisoner next to Liu, poor prisoner with long abstinence of sex, so prisoner next to Liu see ass all up and wet and sexy and he get sexual excitation and cannot control so prisoner make sweet sweet love to Liu, and after that incident, Liu never shower again, many days without shower, very dirty, but also many days without sweet love making to him. LOL.
But so now Liu is back to freedom and so now we can open company and send you shipment, we try to send very fast this time, so no more delay, but we do not promise because «a promise make it is mean a promise brake», Nietzsche famous phrase, also true. Nietzsche, high quality german thinking.
I propose we make pact of friendship, I propose new friend contract, erase everything and start from begin, like nothing never happen, anything.
Who are you? I do not know, because it is all from beginning, so I do not know you! (It is metaphor example, I do know you but because we start again, I "do not" know you (quote symbols " " it is mean not literal, understand? For example, we will send you shipment "very fast" this time, so " " it is mean no way!)
So I forgive you publish private email and make fun of little English capacities and you forgive me the enormous gigantic great delay of shipment and you pretend you confirm shipment last week, so we are in time now, nothing of delay, Ok? We will deliver you in “eye blinking” time (remember: " " it is mean metaphor, so do not expect to do blinking of eye and when you open eye you see shipment, because that it is impossible, LOL, we do not have teleportation machine!).
Best regards,
Mr. Lee.
:: next email ::
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